Does looking at another woman’s body or achievements in the gym make you feel insecure?
It’s human nature to feel triggered by someone else’s success. Comparison is normal but it doesn’t have to be your normal.
I rarely feel insecure about my body anymore or compare myself to others in the fitness scheme of things. I used to a lot. Someone else’s defined arms, another woman’s more athletic thighs, or another woman’s impressive unbroken chin-ups!
Those things used to trigger me because I wanted that and didn’t think it was possible for myself. Until I realized something…
Getting down with my own training, enjoying myself in the process, and looking at my own progress made someone else’s progress or success irrelevant.
I was too busy focused on my own sh*t to care if Lisa, the amateur bikini competitor, had better arms than me. When I was learning the Olympic lifts and later competing in Powerlifting, I was too focused on my training program and logging my own workouts to notice that Sally the Buffinator was crushing 300lbs squats in a class.
If anything, I was inspired by their achievements because it showed me what was possible if I kept training hard.
This change in mindset didn’t happen overnight, and if you feel triggered by women on social media — their bods or their strength levels — you’re not alone.
You have two choices:
1) Get triggered, deflect blame, and continue the cycle of criticism and self-loathing
2) Have the audacity to pursue your own goals and invest in the process.
From Chasing Thinness to Chasing PRs
One of my 1:1 training clients recently commented how she just wants to put on muscle and feel freaking strong.
We’ve been training for over 3 years now and it’s taken that long for her to make the shift from comparison to owning the goal of being a strong female committed to building strength and muscle. Previously, she felt triggered by her “smaller” thinner girlfriends who barely worked out and overtrained all the time in order to change her physique.
There wasn’t one single moment in time that triggered this shift for her. It was a series of moments — multiple PRs, compliments from her husband, learning to lift with barbells with me, and growing confidence in herself — that compounded over time.
It’s amazing to watch someone who used to feel unsure of herself, insecure in her own skin, and trapped in comparison become a confident, strong woman who can’t wait to swing heavy weights around and chase PRs!
This is the NEW level of confidence! This is the outcome for anyone who lifts heavy weights and follows a training program that is structured for long-term success and gains.
What Do Crazy Successful, Strong Women Do?
Every phase of a woman’s life requires a new level of commitment.
We go from single, confused 20-year-old girls to confident young women in our 30s, to self-assured and rock solid in our 40s, and on and on. Womanhood has many levels and it demands that we do one of three things:
- Put our head down and do the work
- Look up and ask for help, or;
- Get grumpy and allow someone else’s success to diminish ours
The women who are crazy successful in the gym, making progress, and changing their physique and performance in the process are usually doing #1 and #2 simultaneously. They seek help from experts – nutritionists, strength coaches, training partners, sports physiologists – and they put their head down and get sh*t done!
When you’re too busy doing sh*t, you ain’t got time for comparing your sh*t!
These women aren’t triggered by fitness models on social media or another woman’s #bodyafterbaby because they’re too busy obsessing (and loving) their own training, their own development, and their own lives!
My girl and fitness business coach, Jill Coleman, always says, “Keep your eyes on your own paper.”
This is how we generate results, success, and start carving out the body and lifestyle of our dreams. Put your blinders on and focus on what you’re doing instead. Apply to join my six-month online strength training program for go-getter women focused on their own amazingness and want to get strong.
Over to you: When was the last time you got hooked on what someone else was doing? How did you change your mindset? Drop a comment below – would love to hear what you think!